It was the dopest blog I ever wrote in 94'. (NFL Week 10)

Plus 90 cool points if you actually got the Dave Chappelle/Tupac joke. If you haven't seen it, pull it up on Youtube and watch a jumpy, low quality version of it that looks like it was recorded during an earthquake.

*Anyhoodles*

It's Week 10 in the NFL and the league is still a royal cluster f&^%. If the regular season ended last week this is how it would look:

AFC: #1 Pitt, #2 Pats, #3 KC, #4 Tenn with Jacksonville and Buffalo taking the wild card spots! TIMEOUT! The Jags haven't made the playoffs since 2007 when Jay Fiedler was running the offense. But, even wilder the Bills haven't made the playoffs since 1999! When QB Doug Flutie was connecting with receiver Andre Reed. Interesting fact about that 99' Bills roster is that 87% of the starters were drafted BY the Bills. (Back when they knew how to do that)   

NFC: #1 Philly, #2 Saints, #3 Minn, #4 Rams with Seattle and Carolina taking the wild card spots. The (now LA) Rams haven't seen the post season since 2004 when they weaseled their way in at 8-8 and actually made it to the divisional round. Side note: I was always a big Marc Bulger fan, though a lot of his numbers were significantly helped by... Marshall Faulk and young Steven Jackson in the backfield and oh yeah... throwing the ball to Issac Bruce, Tory Holt and rag-tag slot man, Dane Looker. The Vikings look to win the NFC North, which they have only done once since 2010 (GB 6, CHI 1.) 

1. Saints [-3] (6-2) at Bills (5-3) 1pm FOX- It will be a brisk 32 degrees when the Saints and Bills hit the field today. But, I don't think that alone will be enough to cool off the Saint's 6 game hot streak *barf* I hate that I just made that joke. That aside I think New Orleans just have too many options for the Bills to cover like receivers Micheal Thomas/Ted Ginn Jr, running bak Alvin Kamara out of the backfield and tight end Coby Fleener. Plus, a questionable EJ Gaines doesn't help the Bills case either. And if (or when) the Bills get behind their 26th overall offense will have to face the 2nd overall defense to mount a comeback. Buffalo will have to rely on a defense that it #1 in takeaways this year and the fact that the Saints are a Southern 'Dome Team.' It will be interesting to see if the Bills can shake off that throttling the Jets gave them on Thursday Night Football last week. Bills teams of the past... this normally the start of a free fall that ends them picking in the top 10 in the draft. Maybe, the Bills teams of now and the future don't won't take that tumble... like literally ANY of their fans in that parking lot tailgating. 

Saints- 27 Bills- 17   

2. Vikings [-2] (6-2) at Redskins (4-4) 1pm CBS- Another chilly 32 degree kickoff at FedEx field today when the Vikings come into town on a 4 game winning streak. How have they been able to do this? Case Keenum. A guy that won't throw for 350+ yards a game or rush for multiple touchdowns but, he doesn't turn the ball over. One of the biggest issues with backup/rookie/journeymen QBs is the rate they choke the ball up. Keenum in 7 starts has 7TD, only 3INT and 0 fumbles. They aren't MVP numbers but, when you have good special teams, a solid defense and an offense that can convert on 3rd down you will be punching a ticket to the post season son! The Redskins did something last week that impressed me, all of their scoring drives were 57+ yards out. Which means Kirk Cousins and company started in sub par field position and were able to move the ball down the field and convert it into points. They may not blow your mind but that does a few things. One, it lets your defense rest. Two, it wears out the opposing defense. Three, it means that their game plan (on offense) was executed. This game is going to be close. It's only a 2 point spread and ESPN's Football Power Index has a .4% chance of this game ending in a tie! 

Vikings- 22 Redskins- 13 

3. Patriots [-7.5] (6-2) at Broncos (3-5) 8:30pm NBC- On paper is this looks like it is going to be a terrible game. And it will be. But, I wanted to bring up NFL game scheduling. Everyone EVERYONE is complaining about how bad all these prime time games are. (And they are) But, lets look at this game... before week 1 even kicked off you would be lying to me, yourself and America if you thought this would have been a bad game! In Week 2 the Lions played the Giants on Monday Night Football; did you really think that the GMen would be an ultra dumpster fire this year? Week 3 Rams against the 49ers. Did you think that the 9ers would have ZERO wins thus far? Or Week 4 when the Colts lined up against the Seahawks, a matchup that pitted Andrew Luck against Russell Wilson. Sans Luck... that is an awful game but NO ONE in April saw these things coming. In 2017 everyone is ready to crucify anyone or anything for any reason. Take a f*&^ing chill pill, buy some new coils for your (douchie) vape pen or whatever and enjoy the games. And no, I don't care that it tastes like Cotton Candy, get that thing away from me. SO, Pats at Broncos will be a nightmare for Denver fans but, have no fear the world isn't going to end, you don't need to get on FaceBook and scream about it or the fact you don't get paid to be a gluten free, vegan, paleo, minimalist baker blogger.

Patriots-30 Broncos-18   

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.